The FIRST Peaceful night of SLEEP
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After they cleaned and tidied up the mess in the room, they enjoyed the sticky rice balls with its’ sweet soup, took a shower, and laid their tired bodies on the bed. By that time, it was already past midnight.
Unable to control the apprehensive emotions that ruptured in that pulsating muscle of his, Gu Hai let his voice sound of softly in the silence of the room.
“Another year past, time really flew by quickly.”
Bai Luo Yin simply laid beside him, his two elongated arm wrapped securely onto the pillow in front of him as he rested his chin comfortably on top of it. Those earthen eyes slightly narrowed in amusement, seemingly enjoying the tranquility that quietness brought with it.
There’s only two people in the room, their eyes only held each others visages, their ears only took in the sound of the other person’s voice, whatever else that happened in the world outside, had nothing to do with the space that they are confined in. Right here…right now.
Gu Hai placed his hand on Bai Luo Yin’s neck, feeling the vein beneath his palm throbbing vigorously. A nameless serenity streamed into his heart, fortifying itself there.
Like a drug addict, who had strenuously endured the pain of withdrawal for countless days, and finally being able to have that addiction surge inside those blood conveying veins, was pure bliss. The effect of the drug would quickly disperse throughout his body and even the crevices under his bones were elated.
Bai Luo Yin narrowed his eyes, swept over, glancing at Gu Hai up and down.
He was still the same person, a little thinner, with some seriously stubborn stubbly encircling his chin. The contour of the side of his face was even more distinctive than usual.
“You should shave.”
Gu Hai crude and unrefined fingers touched the lower half of his own face; the existence of those prickling stubbles now obvious to even himself. It seems, a long time had passed by since he last shaved. He had long forgotten the date, and even worse, he couldn’t even recall the last time he had washed his face.
“Having a little bit of beard gives off an even more manly demeanor.” Gu Hai lazily consoled himself with this shameless excuse.
Bai Luo Yin snorted for a second before he couldn’t help but let laughter follow afterward.
“Perhaps on other people, it would make them look a bit more handsome. For you…forget about it. You just look old.”
An air of displeasure swept across Gu Hai’s eyes, “Why do you always say I look old? Where have I grown old?”
Gu Hai teeth clashed roughly against each other as he gritted them tightly. He pondered and contemplated in agony of a particular flaw that Bai Luo Yin’s body possessed so that he could counterattack said boy with. But, in the end, he discovered that every part, every inch was visually attractive. It was indeed, eye candy for him every time his sight fell upon it.
There was absolutely no flaw…not even one, that he could pinpoint.
Bai Luo Yin got off the bed, faced the bathroom and walked in. In less than a minute, he reappeared with a towel hanging loosely on his arm.
“Lay over there,” commanded Bai Luo Yin, pointing toward the two people sofa near the front door.
Gu Hai slowly straighten his body, “For what?”
Bai Luo Yin mischievously swayed the shaver in his hand, left and right…left and right. It was quite clear what his intentions were.
Lights reflected in Gu Hai’s dark pupils, causing it to wavered for a second. It was as if he had reached some sort of epiphany. One that caused a smile to plastered itself on his face. And his cheeks stuck out, just like the stubbles that adorned his chin.
Before, it was Gu Hai who washed Bai Luo Yin’s foot, shaved Bai Luo Yin’s beard…how is it that now, Gu Hai, himself gets to enjoy this kind of treatment!
Bai Luo Yin, himself, willingly returning to his side, had already made Gu Hai faced the heavens, lower his knees and bow, as he banged his head five hundred times against the cold hard ground. If Bai Luo Yin was even a bit good to him, that would have been enough for him. But, to be able to taste such bliss was more than his heart had asked for, had begged for. Not to mention any other divine euphoria.
When Bai Luo Yin caught sight of young master Gu’s mouth stretching out from ear to ear, grinning, he knew that this despicable guy was probably indulging in his own delusional fantasy. At first, he just wanted to use the towel to moisten Gu Hai’s face as to prevent his wild fantasy from being even more insatiable. But now, perhaps, it would be better if he let him wipe his own face.
With those thoughts, he flung the towel on Gu Hai’s face, and went to the bathroom once again to grab the shaving cream. Bai Luo Yin flipped the bottle of shaving cream over and squeezed some onto his hand. He spread the cool cream evenly on the lower half of Gu Hai’s face and waited until the beard soften under the magical control of the cream.
Gu Hai leaned back against the softness of the sofa. Intense eyes, the exact shade and dimension as a handful of freshly turned soil, cracked open. They seemed to scintillate fire, so beautiful and soft as he looked closely at the visage hovering in great propinquity to his own. His vision was clouded by Bai Luo Yin, and his brain took everything in, imprinting every detail into his memory.
At first, the distance between them seemed pretty far, but as Bai Luo Yin held the shaver with steadied hand and began to move against the surface, his face inched closer and closer. So much so, that Gu Hai can feel the heat permeating from Bai Luo Yin’s lips as it floated against the surface of his own chin that had been shaven bright and cleanly. Bai Luo Yin’s expression was not only cloaked with seriousness, but cautiousness as well, as he continued to let the shaver kiss away those invasive stubbles.
Apparently, it was the first time that he allowed himself to shave someone else beard. So, as to avoid any accidental injury, he took great care in his process.
Gu Hai’s hands inch by inch, slowly but surely, stretched out and levitated closely to Bai Luo Yin’s cheeks.
Bai Luo Yin swiftly avoided those hands, “Don’t move around.”
Gu Hai’s hand lingered stiffly in the air and remained there for a long while. Only until Bai Luo Yin’s movement ceased, did Gu Hai’s hands suddenly hook onto the back his head, pressing the boy’s cheek against his own cheek.
The faint musky smell of the shaving cream intermingled with their breaths, as they drew closer to each other. Bai Luo Yin felt intoxicated, his consciousness became somewhat blurry, as if beckoning him to give up and cave. But, it was just that, with his body bent over in such an awkward position, it made him feel extremely uncomfortable. Hence, he struggled free of Gu Hai’s strong grip.
“You have to wipe it clean after it’s shaven, otherwise it’ll be uncomfortable,” said Bai Luo Yin.
A blazing red flame flashed across Gu Hai’s eyes and in a low and seemingly husky tone, his lips breathe life into the words that strung out.
“There’s no need to, I can’t wait any longer.”
With those words said, Gu Hai suddenly exerted all his energy, hook his arm around Bai Luo Yin’s waist and pulled him toward his own body. He then, intentionally knocked his feet against Bai Luo Yin’s feet. Caught off guard, Bai Luo Yin lost his balance, stumbled and fell forward. Gu Hai allowed Bai Luo Yin’s body to crash heavily on top of his own. He didn’t give Bai Luo Yin any time to respond or even the slightest chance to retaliate as he simply clasped said boy’s face within his warm hands and……kissed him.
Once their lips touched, sparks of electricity erupted and a beautiful dance ensued within the boundary of that tightly seal space. In that moment, their breaths became eager, impatience delved deeper and deeper into their anxious lips.
At first, it was Gu Hai, whose lips latched securely onto Bai Luo Yin’s thin lips, tasting, teasing, and nibbling, unwilling to release it from within his own hunger stricken mouth. But afterwards, Bai Luo Yin’s tongue snaked out, seized Gu Hai’s tongue with his own and pulled it into his ardently awaiting cavity. Gu Hai’s heart stopped, the mere contact of their tongues, sent shivers through his nerves, shivers that made his whole body tremble in ecstasy.
Like two famished kids that haven’t consumed anything for several days, the moment they saw their mother’s breast, they would gnaw at it as if their life depended on it. They would continue to nibble and bite, locking inseparably on those precious teats until those areolar glands produce the liquid needed to sustain life, as it continued to mixed and melt together with their saliva.
That is when the taste of remembering, of missing and……of longing to see what’s precious again, has reached its’ pinnacle.
Deepening the kiss, they reveled in each other taste as their tongues intertwined and wrestled about. The need to know and explore each other was an assurance……an assurance that they existed in this time and space, together.
For the longest time, their hands searched for each other in agony, and it was only when they firmly grasped each other, did their search ended.
Separation, is a painful and……….an excruciatingly torturous, yet trivial matter. But, never having felt separation, you will never experience the deep feeling of love that you have for someone.
As it turns out, I miss you……I long to see you.
In every lonely night.
Under every cold blanket.
Only then, did I realized, how much……I needed you.
Bai Luo Yin gradually brought his own actions to a halt. Slowly and deliberately, yet somewhat reluctant, he shifted his face away from Gu Hai’s. He then, nestled his own disoriented head into the crevice of Gu Hai’s anticipating shoulder. His lungs cried out in need and beckoned him to allow air in, so slowly and unhurriedly, he breathe, somewhat panting. Inhale and exhale. Inhale and……. then, his eyes open in realization as it gazed straight in the direction of Gu Hai’s bouncing Adam’s apple.
Gu Hai tilted his head slightly to the side, feigning anger as he peered down at Bai Luo Yin, whose brows had somehow managed to knit together, creating those lines that laid ignorantly between them. The tone of his voice was infused with the complaint of a person who was about to face death.
“This entire month, you’ve almost tortured me to death!”
At long last, it was today, that Bai Luo Yin finally came to understand and gain more knowledge on what the idiom, ‘the villain sues his victim before he himself is prosecuted,’ meant.
His soft and tender face, which was normally a seldom sight to come by, immediately tightened in dismay, frustration clearly evident along the lines of his statuesque countenance.
“You fucking have the nerve to say it’s me? Who’s to fucking blame for this?”
Gu Hai thought about it……the cause from the past that affected the events of today and possibly the future. But even then, he could not find anything that would put him at an advantage.
Ultimately, he had no choice but to admit, “Blame me.”
Bai Luo Yin coldly grunted, humph! Before his hand curled into a fist and ruthlessly smashed into the pit of Gu Hai’s stomach for a while.
Gu Hai took the chance, seized Bai Luo Yin’s hands and secured it with his own. He then pulled said boy’s hand close to his quivering lips and gently kissed it. Even then, his heart was still a bit unstable as it continuously throbbed within the cavity of his tight chest.
“Even if I’m to blame, you also shouldn’t have been so cruel and heartless, right? You adamantly said you wouldn’t see me anymore and you really didn’t……and you said you’ll walk on the streets with other people and you really did. We’ve been apart for such a long time, isn’t it even a bit unbearable, a bit painful for you as well?”
Bai Luo Yin pulled his hand back and sat upright, “Even if I am in pain or can’t bare it, I still won’t let you see it!”
Gu Hai sat up, both of his arms encircled Bai Luo Yin’s frame from behind. Hugging him with great care as his chest rested devotedly against it. His chin snuggled their way atop Bai Luo Yin’s shoulder, remaining comfortably there.
And, with great interest, he asked, “In what ways did you suffer? Tell me about it.”
“What is there to say about this?” Bai Luo Yin became annoyed, somewhat angry.
Gu Hai’s seductive lips slowly caressed the nape of Bai Luo Yin’s neck, before he softly stated, “I want to hear it.”
His sultry voice and the heat that secreted from within his lips, made the hair on Bai Luo Yin’s neck stand on end.
“You know, you’re an especially despicable person. You always take pleasure in other people’s pain and suffering.” Bai Luo Yin also recalled Gu Hai’s previous statement, “You even said I’m cruel and heartless, am I more heartless than you? You got two soldiers to beat me up relentlessly. So tell me, how much have I suffered? If it happened to you, how would you feel?”
Just because of a misunderstanding, the person who usually showed the most consideration and took the best care of you, actually hits you when he said he would……. every single time Bai Luo Yin thought of this matter, a fit of rage would consume his mind for while.
Gu Hai immediately straightened up his body, his gazed locked with Bai Luo Yin’s. As a sense of urgency ravished the expression in his eyes.
“I have to explain this matter to you. That’s right, I did order those two young soldiers over, but I absolutely did not instruct them to attack you. They misinterpreted my intentions and thought that the person I like was Shi Hui. So. when they saw the two of you being intimate, they just……”
Bai Luo Yin felt as if two persimmons had smashed right onto his skull. His heart felt someone disgusted. What do you call this? It just like being arrested, for no reason at all while strolling the streets, then dragged to the police station, then locked up. Before you know know it, you’re being beaten up for an entire day and night, only to be told early the next morning, that they caught the wrong person………
Bai Luo Yin’s face darkened as he got up and off the sofa. He silently walked back toward his own bed.
Gu Hai’s heart also became tormented.
“I know I’m an asshole because of that. Later on, every time I thought about it, I also felt especially tormented, but at that time, for the sake of venting my own selfish anger, I gritted my teeth and refrained myself from going to see you. Tomorrow, I’m going back to the army base. There’s still some things that I have to bring back. Come with me, I’ll retrieve those two young soldiers, you can punish them however you like. What do you think?”
Bai Luo Yin shot a deathly glance at Gu Hai, “You’re the person that should be punished the most!”
Gu Hai laid back down on the bed and sprawled. His four, long and lanky limbs stuck out in all directions. He glanced over, eyes engrossed in and obsessed with Bai Luo Yin’s prepossessing appearance.
“Come, you can punish me however you want.”
Bai Luo Yin did not pay any attention to him. He simply squeezed himself into the blanket.
Gu Hai used his leg to nudge Bai Luo Yin, “I gave you such a good opportunity and you choose not to cherish it.”
Bai Luo Yin’s indolent voice transmitted from within the blanket, “Forget about it, just let the past remain in the past. I was also wrong. We don’t need to blame each other. Let’s see what your actions are like later on.”
Imitating Bai Luo Yin’s action, Gu Hai also squeezed himself into the blanket. He then placed his hand over Bai Luo Yin’s shoulder.
The sound of Bai Luo Yin’s voice thundered in the room when he gave said boy a warning, “Sleep.”
“I wasn’t thinking of doing anything else!”
While Gu Hai said this, he grabbed onto Bai Luo Yin’s entire body and turned him over, so that his face was facing his own. His hands snaked around Bai Luo Yin’s waist as he affectionately hugged him. Perfectly contented, he closed his eyes.
It’s been longer than a month….and this, was the first peaceful night of sleep for both of them.
Are you Addicted?