Addicted Boys Love Chinese BL Chinese Novel Translation

Addicted: Chapter 208

THE END OF YOUTH

 

Translator: Sae

※ ※ ※ ※ ※

 

The car made a sudden sharp turn and charged onto the road. Bai Luo Yin’s deep heavy breaths faintly echoed with the spine chilling feeling that raced down his back. He could feel his heartbeats pounding chaotically in his chest, beckoning to rush out. The beating gets louder and louder to the point that he could clearly hear the cacophonous thrumming rhythm. The sound was intolerable as his breaths get deeper and deeper by the second. He swung his head to the side to look at Gu Hai.

“What’s wrong with you today?”

Gu Hai turned stiffly like an old rusty machine and smiled cunningly, “I’m not completely awake yet.”

Noticing that the street ahead was a straight line with less vehicles presence, Gu Hai heaved a sigh of relieve for a moment. It does not matter that the brakes were not working properly, he could forcibly decelerate by shifting the gears from one to the other. Calming himself, he shot Bai Luo Yin a glance from the corner of his eyes only to discover that Bai Luo Yin was looking straight at him with a bit of restlessness and impatience drawn in his eyes.

“Gu Hai, I don’t know why but I feel really nervous.”

At those words, every single tightened muscle on Gu Hai’s face suddenly loosened up as he deliberately slowed down his speech and adjust it to a warmer tone just to console him. “Everything’s okay. You were just scared a moment ago. You’ll feel better after I tell you a joke.”

“Okay, tell me.” Bai Luo Yin faintly said, somehow unenthusiastic.

Like the incoming spring days after a harsh winter, a warm, gentle and relaxed smile drew silently on Gu Hai’s lips, “Close your eyes first.”

“Why do I need to close my eyes?”

“You have to close your eyes to listen to this joke.”

Bai Luo Yin does not know what farcical scheme Gu Hai was trying to conjure but welling with curiosity, he complied and closed his eyes. He thought to himself, if he was going to fall into a trap then he might as well fall properly since at best it would just be a surprise attack and nothing else.

“It is said that there’s a village with a constantly high fertility rate……”

Gu Hai said calmly while shifting to the second gear and lifting the clutch to loosen the throttle which immediately decreased the speed of the car.

Sensing the gradual change of speed, Bai Luo Yin was about to opened his eyes but Gu Hai started to speak again, “One day, an official from Tianzhen county went to this village with the intention of spreading knowledge about contraception. He brought a box of condoms with him and taught the villagers how to use……”

Hearing that Gu Hai was still talking, Bai Luo Yin let his eyes remained closed to the darkness that was stretching out in front of him. Although he felt that something was strange, he reasoned that Gu Hai had urgently pulled the brakes because there was another car ahead.

Gu Hai silently took in a deep breath and waited for an opportunity to shift into the first gear before he slowly pulled the handbrake up. Then he carefully tightened and loosen it intermittently as to avoid any making any sudden noise……

“Then two years later, some officials went to the village again for an inspection and discovered that the village still had a high fertility rate.”

Just as the car was about to come to a complete stop, a massive logistic trunk suddenly emerged at the speed of light from an intersection. In just seconds, it directly swept by the front of their car.

“Do you know why?” Gu Hai asked as thick beads of cold sweat dripped down his forehead.

Bai Luo Yin shook his head, “Why?”

“A man said this to the official: ‘I listened to your words and wore it every day, but I discovered that it was impossible to pee if I have it on so I cut the tip of it off.’”

Hearing those ridiculous words, Bai Luo Yin scoffed and immediately burst into laughter.

Meanwhile, someone was crossing the street and the massive truck ahead of them abruptly pulled the emergency brake. It was so sudden that even if Gu Hai wanted to turn the steering wheel to evade it, it was already too late.

“What’s the difference between closing your eyes or having it open just to listen to your joke?”

Just as Bai Luo Yin was about to open his eyes to look at Gu Hai, he suddenly felt a powerful and violent force like that of a thousand militant horses galloping majestically on the wasteland charging towards him. In a split second, his head swung intensely to the side, nearly crashing into the solid glass window. Although the clear sky was not in his view, he could vividly feel it spinning and flipping uncontrollably with the earth. Loud droning noises then blitzed into his ear and rung in complete pandemonium before a heavy object pressed firmly on him, making it impossible for him to breathe normally.

When he finally opened his eyes again, all he could see was Gu Hai’s face plastered in front of his……along with the blood that dripped down rhythmically. Each droplet was magnified clearly in his vision, bringing a sense of utter devastation to his insides.

Bai Luo Yin’s face turned a deathly pale–he could almost feel the white in his cheeks as the blood drained. His hand ashen as he held dearly onto Gu Hai’s face with both of his trembling hands. He pressed his palms lightly into Gu Hai’s face, as if trying to keep his head from falling out of his hands while his fingers tapped it softly in an attempt to wake him up. At first, his voice hid deep in his throat but as the blood slid onto his hand, he shouted for Gu Hai.

There was no response.

Gu Hai remained silent and even his closed eyes showed no sign of movements.

When Bai Luo Yin shifted his gaze from Gu Hai’s face for a moment, he was met with a frightening scene playing out in front of him that made his heart suddenly stopped.

There was a rear end collision between two cars, causing the front part of the car to be severely damaged. A broke steel plate sharp enough to shatter the windshield to pieces pierced straight into Gu Hai’s back as if it posed no resistance while his shoulder and head suffered the most lacerations.

But……he came out almost completely unscathed aside from the small scratches on the back of his hands.

Although the driver side was also destroyed, the damage was not as severe as what the passenger side has sustained. If Gu Hai did not rush over to shield him at the last minute, he would have not suffered such an extremely parlous injury.

Since the accident occurred on such a bustling commercial district and the car that struck them was the city’s public vehicle, the driver ahead does not have the guts to flee from this perilous responsibility. He quickly got out of the vehicle and examined the situation at the rear before dialing 120.

Feeling extremely distraught with the situation and worried that the car would explode, the driver quickly rushed over to help Bai Luo Yin out. And, just as quickly, he and Bai Luo Yin tried to pull Gu Hai out only to discovered that Gu Hai was being jammed tightly in place by the steel plate that struck him. Breathing heavily while trying to calm himself down, the driver rushed to the trunk of his vehicle and grabbed some tools. When he returned to help again, he was stunned by the scene drawn in front of his eyes.

Bai Luo Yin used his bare hand to pull the steel plate that was blocking Gu Hai’s escape. His five fingers were soaked in blood, making it hard to see where the deep cuts that produced it start and where it ended. But what was clear was that two of his fingernails were slowly peeling off then it was broken completely as he exerted more strength.

For the sake of getting Gu Hai out of the wrecked car as soon as possible, Bai Luo Yin ignored the throbbing pain that tore his skin and nerves.

When the road was finally sealed off, Bai Luo Yin sat in the middle of the street holding Gu Hai tightly while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. At once a fountain of red came from the wound on Gu Hai’s back, ebbed and flowed in time with Bai Luo Yin’s terrified heart. His hands were dyed in red as it pressed lightly on the wound, trying to prevent anymore from leaving Gu Hai’s body but his efforts were wasted. The blood continued to slide down and mingled harmoniously with the blood from his own wounded hand before dripping endlessly on his pants. A pool of blood that was part congealed and dulled to a reddish brown soon formed around them.

The pain that welled in Bai Luo Yin’s chest tore his heart to pieces as he tightened his hold on Gu Hai’s bleeding, unresponsive body. The despair surged with every expelled breath he took, always reaching a higher peak, never sufficiently appeased by his long intakes of the fresh spring air.

“Gu Hai, Gu Hai……”

Even when Bai Luo Yin’s voice became hoarse from shouting his name, Gu Hai still did not show any reaction.

The driver that stood nearby watching them, carefully said as a reminder to him, “You should put him flat on the ground. Holding him like that is dangerous.”

As if deaf to all the noises surrounding them, Bai Luo Yin does not hear what he said. He held Gu Hai firmly against his chest, unwilling to loosen his arms and allowed no one to come closer.

There was never any other moment in his life that made him felt so frightened and helpless as he is now. Once he picked his head up and glanced around, only the unfamiliar faces of strangers appeared in his eyes.

Who can help us? Who can wake him up? Who can stop his bleeding? Who can prevent the passage of time from flowing and allow hope to remain as long as possible, forever even……

“The hospital called just now. They said since it’s rush hour, the ambulance is blocked by traffic on the road here.”

As if he was being struck by a series of lightning bolts, Bai Luo Yin’s eyes heated up. He lowered his head to look at Gu Hai, feeling as though his heart was being cut out and torn apart.

“Which way is it coming from?”

“From the east……hey? Hey, what are you doing?”

The worried driver questioned him intensely trying to get an answer while the crowd around them shouted with fear drenched in their voices. But Bai Luo Yin heed them no attention and let the noises remained behind him with every step he took forward.

By now, there was already a long traffic jam going towards the eastern and western roads. But none of that mattered. He simply carried Gu Hai’s bloodied body on his back and charged ahead. As he ran madly along the right side of the road with vehicles that constantly moved and stopped, a trail of blood and tears spilled out from the corners of his helpless eyes and stained the ground.

Gu Hai, nothing must happen to you! We were famished for so many days and still managed to survive. We’ve overcome the desolate feeling of isolation from our families and found joy in spite of the suffering thrown at us together. The things we should bear and the things we shouldn’t have to, we’ve already bore them all. Open your eyes and look, we’re only one step away from happiness!

 Da Hai, Da Hai……do you hear me calling you? Just answer me once, please just answer me once! We’ve just bought our SUV a few days ago, there’s still so many places we haven’t gone to yet. Listen to me….in the future, we don’t have to be scare anymore when we travel afar…. we won’t miss those beautiful sceneries anymore.

 Gu Hai remained unresponsive as his head rested on the crook of Bai Luo Yin’s warm neck. Every time Bai Luo Yin’s heavy footstep met the ground as he ran, Gu Hai’s face would rub against Bai Luo Yin’s cheek again and again. The temperature of his cold, nearly lifeless body decreased a bit at a time with the frequency of Bai Luo Yin’s breaths.

All pretense of quiet grieving was lost. The world ahead turned into a blur, and so did the sounds. Bai Luo Yin felt his heart skip a beat as he tightened his own on Gu Hai before more tears traced down his cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened once again. So many tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his dirtied face. His chin trembled in fear and his breathing became heavier than before. He was strenuously gasping for air that seemed to escape him as his throat burned forming a silent scream. But, with everything seemingly against them, his worn-out legs were still speeding ahead……

Da Hai, your body can’t cool down like this. If your limbs turned to ice, what should I do?

By the time Bai Luo Yin’s legs became numb and lost all sensations, a few medics were rushing towards them. They carefully took Gu Hai off his back and urgently lifted him into the ambulance.

Bai Luo Yin’s legs buckled and his knees weakened before he collapsed at the ambulance door. His complexion was deathly white as large beads of sweat rolled down along the side of his cheeks.

As he listened to the sounds of the doctor’s footsteps quickening and various equipment echoing all around him, Bai Luo Yin’s body began to tremble uncontrollably…… There was emptiness in his heart and numbness pounding his brain. And, as the salty tears continuously ran unchecked from his face, he could sense the sheer nothingness that now took hold of his soul threatened to engulf him entirely……

At this moment, he suddenly realized that in his mind, Gu Hai have always had the strong body of an immortal being. All of his so-called courage and fearlessness are all firmly built upon this unwavering foundation. The reason he dared to say those harsh and passionate words in front of Gu Wei Ting back then was not because he did not fear that Gu Hai would die, but rather it was because he simply believed that Gu Hai would never die.

Moreover, in Bai Luo Yin’s consciousness, sickness has never visited Gu Hai before. His healthiness was eternal, ingrained deeply in him and he never needed to be taken care of.

In the past and even unto this day, Gu Hai has always been the one to take care of him. When he was sick or suffered even the smallest wound, he would bustle about just to take care of him. In the depth of the night, he would always keep his hands and feet warm. When he was trying to cook, wash clothes, or buy breakfast……

His energy and spirit always seemed endless as if he has never stayed up with him all night, as if his daily routine always lasted several more hours than his……

And so, when Gu Hai collapsed into his embrace and doesn’t wake up no matter how much he cried and called out to him, Bai Luo Yin’s faith was completely shattered.

It seems, he is not immortal after all. He can also be wounded. He can also be weakened. He can also sleep and never wake up.

As it turns out, I’m so afraid of his death……so afraid to the point that I will never hesitate to give up everything in my possession in exchange for his life, so long as he can survive.   

 The traffic jam did not improve at all. But just as all the medics were feeling helpless about the situation, a helicopter suddenly appeared in front of everyone and snatched Gu Hai’s life—that was hanging on a nearly translucent thread—back from the hands of death.

The emergency room light was on the entire time.

Bai Luo Yin’s tears has long run dry. He could feel his mind waning…again. He could feel it slowly unraveling, the threads of every happy memory he could ever recall, all but a disarray of strings scattered about his feet as he looked at Gu Hai’s blood painting his hands red.

When Gu Yang finally arrived at the hospital, the person that stood before him was covered in dried blood and had no sign of life whatsoever.

After a long time passed by without any exchange, a doctor walked over, “He is out of danger for the time being and has been transferred to the intensive care unit.”

Bai Luo Yin’s pallid lips trembled, but no words came out.

When he turned around, Gu Yang was standing behind him.

“You actually wanted to kill me, didn’t you?”

Although Gu Yang’s voice was not pressed with urgency nor relaxed, it appeared to be drenched in seriousness inside that tranquil corridor.

“You’re a very dangerous person. If you stay besides Gu Hai, you’re bound to destroy him.”

“Were you constantly trying to give me a good impression of you so that I would let my guard down around you? Or could it be……you’ve made up your mind to get rid of me a long time ago, but your conscience made it difficult for you to go through with it so you wanted to compensate me in advance?”

Hearing those stern words, Gu Yang did not give him any answer.

After a long time, Bai Luo Yin spoke again, “Thank you for giving me such a nice hairstyle before sending me off.”

An undercurrent of darkness surfaced in Gu Yang’s eyes as he remained still and silent amidst everything.

When Bai Luo Yin walked by Gu Yang, his legs stopped involuntarily.

“If Gu Hai wakes up and ask for me, you can just tell him I died.”

A burst of cold shivers suddenly erupted in Gu Yang’s heart. Just as he was about to turn and say something, Bai Luo Yin’s silhouette had already disappeared from the end of the corridor.

The good impressions that I expressed towards you were all real but I’m sorry, he is my most beloved brother.

……

Bai Luo Yin went to the market for the first time to buy vegetables and meat before carrying it all back home alone. He turned the fire on the stove for the first time to make stir-fry and beef stew. He busied himself until the sky slowly changed from a vibrant blue to a dark lonely night. When the last plate of food was served on the table, the first plate has already turned cold a long time ago.

Standing silently in front of the dining table, Bai Luo Yin stared attentively at it for a minute. Then he grabbed his belongings and left this place forever.

In the dead of night, when the twilight faded to blackness, Bai Luo Yin stood alone on a large bridge and shouted until his voice became hoarse: “Gu Hai, I love you!!! Gu Hai, I love you!!! Gu Hai, I love you!!!…”

Gu Hai, I love you.

He screamed those words into the night over and over again until the awful hollowness and waves of wretchedness in his heart burst. His tears flowed freely before his knees collapsed on the cold stone surface of the bridge.

Gu Hai, I’m actually a coward. I’m afraid of loneliness, afraid of traveling far, afraid of hurting my family and those close to me……but because I met you, I’ve become stronger.

 That is why, you have to live properly for me!


Are you Addicted?

END of BOOK ONE

42 Comments

  1. This chapter gave me goosebumps as I read it from start to finish. The novel would have been very sad if it wasn’t for the 2nd book. Thank you guys! You’re the best! Keep it up! 😘😘😘

  2. This is the saddest chapter. OMG, I couldn’t stop crying and cried the entire chapter. Can’t imagine what Yin Zi is going through. Heartbreaking just thinking about it. He loves and cares for Gu Hai so much.
    I’m glad there is a second book because I can’t accept this ending for them. Thank you for translating for us. 🙂
    BTW, FU Gu Yang.

  3. Guyang you bastard i wanna kill you! Author how could you do this to us and our precious boys? 😭😭😭😭

  4. I wanna cry ㅠㅠㅅㅠㅠ
    Gu Yang is a b*****d, you’re complete moron & sallow person -,-

  5. My heart is broken into pieces!
    I can understand yinzi’s emptiness and how much he is afraid of losing guhai!
    TT
    I can’t wait to read book 2

  6. My heart is broken into pieces!
    I can understand yinzi’s emptiness and how much he is afraid of losing guhai!
    TT
    I can’t wait to read book 2

  7. AHFKWIVNAJAKSKWAAAHCHAJCJA CJWJVKAKFJD TEAR S ARW STREAMING DOWN M Y FACE I CANT HANDLE THI S ;;;;___;;;; i cant i alr know whats gonna happen idk if my heart can take this orz UGHHH he actually ran on the highway all the way to the ambulance and hES LEAVING GUHAI MY HEART IS CRYING i am in pain OTL thank you to the translators and proofreaders and everyone who made an effort to let us read this beautiful novel THANK YOU BLESS YOU <333 ;^;

  8. What is this?!
    What is happening?!
    Why is this happening?!
    You can’t get me so attached to these two just to break them apart, because of some horrible condescending notion that some guy has that they shouldn’t be together…
    WHY? Bay Luo Yin? How can you save him just to leave him?
    How can you shout into the night that you love him, but never say it to his face?
    I can’t handle, I can’t cope with this….
    How is Gu Hai going to feel when he wakes up?
    I need to know it’s gonna get better real quick in the next book!
    I’m just gonna go bury my self in bed in sleep it off then…

  9. You can imagine the world of pain that BAI LUO YIN is in right now , can he handle this ?Can he live without GU HAI by his side? What an evil GU YANG, my heart crys out to them, you cann’t abandon GH now. He needs you more than ever now. Be courageous BLY. FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!
    THANKS A LOT, MERCI BEAUCOUP pour la traduction.

  10. *cry me a river*

    Ugh Gu yang… and I actually didn’t dislike him even though he was always causing trouble. His sense of caring for GH is pretty twisted.

  11. This is the chapter that made me cry so bad that I felt like I’m going crazy haha. GY is so terrible. I really dispise him! Let’s move forward to the second book. Thank you Sae and team for your updates. I still find your translations the best.

  12. This is a truly sad ending. I empathize with Lu Yen, leaving loved ones behind in hopes them being happier/safer without you. Made me cry. I want to beat the snot out of Gu Yung. He truly is an a-hole.

    Thank-you for the translations.

  13. Even though it was a heartbreaking chapter I am just so grateful we have a complete translation (beginning chapters in progress) 😊 really standing ovation to the team! Between the translations and website work I just can’t thank you enough!

  14. This chapter is heartbreaking. 😞😢BLY and GH would do anything for each other. They loved each other and went through so much only to bump into another obstacle. GY was cruel in thinking BLY would destroy GH’s life and deciding to put an end to him. 😤 I can’t wait to see how GH will react in bk2. Thanks for the translation. 👍☺

  15. Thank you, Sae and team, for this. It was heartbreaking to read through. I can olny imagine the pain felt by Yin Zi as he looks at Da Hai’s unconscious body. You guys did an awesome job in bringing the emotions through your translation. I can never thank you enough for such dedication.

  16. Like forever, Sae? Like his fingers will always be like that, or they’ll grow back? I have… a bit of a phobia.Reference

    1. I don’t think completely off, probably a section of it did and grew back later T*T

      1. Thank you, Sae. Thank you. You probably just said that to make me feel better, but thank you.

        1. I’m not lol, he didn’t lose it, it broke. That happened to my mom before where it broke and grew back. So don’t worry 😁

  17. It’s my first time commenting, and I wanted to do it for this chapter.
    Thanks a lot for the translation, I enjoyed it a lot!
    I cried from start to finish, the most at BLY bridge confession part.
    I am so glad this has another book, and according to some summaries, the second book is amazing!
    I am very excited to continue to read it.

  18. GU YANGGG!!!!! you B*!&!#$! im so speechless. it won’t end in tragedy right ? right ? righhhhttt ?????? please don’t separate these two ;-; what my life even if these two won’t end together orz

    thank you for the update <3 i'll keep re-read these two happy times while waiting the next chapter

  19. this chapter is super sad but a good device for us readers to see how they both will grow after this.

    Sae ❤❤❤ thanks for this translation

    p.s.

    BLY, stay strong.

    GH, stay stronger.

    GuYang, I really hope you get STDs.

  20. I literally dont have guts to read this and i flooded my tears… cant wait to read new chapter for the new hope.. tnx sae and all of u to support this novel..

  21. I can keep my heart beat to calm down 🙁 it feels like a bucket of ice cold water is slowly and continuesly flowing onto my body while reading this chapte. I wanted to stop reading because it slowly killing me and Im so dissapointed already but at back of my mind I realy wanted to know what will happend and hoping no one of them will die T_T huhuhu I makenit a hobby that before i sleep I get dose of our boys love. But tonight i think i cannot sleep 😯 I almost forgotten Gu Hi’s joke 😢. This is really a great book. Thanks to all of you for all the effort you are all exerting. Your efforts are truely appriciated.love u guys..
    PS. Pls give us a hint on things like this hahaha😂

  22. This story is great. I’ve watched the series over and over. Then just finished reading book 1. I hope gu hai will recover soon, no amnesia please!!! 😭 When will the 2nd book released? 😊

  23. Thank you. Thank you for translating this book and giving us readers the opportunity to enjoy it from start to finish. I’ll forever be grateful to you.

  24. it took time for me to find courage to read this chapter.
    Gu Hai-ah… YinZi-ah…. my heart ache for you…
    what did they do wrong to deserve this kind of thing??
    Gu Yang YOU BASTARD!!!!! did u really need to kill him to protect u’r brother??!!!! if u really love Gu Hai u won’t have any thought to kill someone who meant the world for him.if u really despise BLY that much why don’t u try any way to separate them??frame him with another man/woman and show it to Gu Hai.(too much watching dramas -_- )
    what i’m trying to say is…there are hundred of way to separate them rather than killing BLY. isn’t he come from well educated family?why did he chose this despicable act?he dirtied his hand with others blood!!!not too mention it is he so called most beloved brother’s blood!!!

    1. GY is indeed the villain here. He’s a criminal right now and should be locked up but see as how the plot is, he won’t. Which sucks!! I hope GH finds out that GY tried to kill BLY but sadly GH himself became the one injured. 😭😭

  25. I knew this would happen. It wasn’t a surprise at all. I’d rear a lot of teasers and such online. I knew it all… But why am I still so damn sad!! lol OMG I was almost crying like this is the first time I’ve heard about the accident!

    1. Although, I was pissed a few days later…because of GY and then our boys suffering 😭

  26. What??? I cant belirve it! First, i think GY like BLY. But the fact is…fuck!! How can be cruel!!!

  27. My favorite chapter in book one.
    A bitter-sweet moment, truly remarkable and incomparable. The intensity of the scene are heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. You can feel the over flowing love while your tears keep falling uncontrollably. A pure genuine affection. Any one’s heart will surely be moved after reading this.
    How can you not be addicted on this novel?
    How can you not read book 2?
    –> many thanks to all the translators
    How can you not wish to have season 2,3,4,5… of the webseries?
    HOW?
    oh CDH you really got me on this!

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